Mental Ted
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
silly myspace surveys
Current mood: introspective
Category: Surveys
on myspace people send silly surveys around and put their own answers on them. i think they do this so that hundreds of other people will see what they think and what they do and then they will like them more. sometimes i think people are sad about things they want to do or have done and maybe they want people to say there there it is ok you are not a freak.
here is an example of a survey that somebody sent me on myspace. i have put my answers on it so you can see if i am a freak (of course i am a freak. just look at me.)
Made out with someone on your top 8?
i dont know what made out means but i did once make a paper mache moose with alice. she is not in my top eight though because she is not on myspace and anyway i am not allowed to use the internet so i could not invite her even though she is my best friend in the whole world ever.
Danced in front of your mirror naked?
i think that i am not naked because i am covered in brown fur (that is fade proof and flame retardant).
Told a lie?
no (that is a lie hahaha).
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
i love alice very much and she loves me very much and that is all i know about feelings. sometimes alice gets confused but i think that is hormones. i know a joke about hormones but it is rude and about prostitutes so i can not say it here.
Been arrested?
it has been a close call on lots of occassions but luckily policemen ignore me most of the time.
Made out with someone of the same sex?
sex is rude and scary. i would rather watch dvds. i am a boy bear but i dont have rude bits anyway (that means a penis).
Seen someone die?
no. never. maybe. no.
Slept in until 5pm?
what does slept in mean? bed is best and smells nice unless alice needs a poo and then it is smelly because she makes smells.
Had sex at work?
what is work?
Fallen asleep at work/school?
i do not sleep. check out my eyes. you can tell.
Held a snake?
alice had a rubber snake once. i held it over a naked flame because it threatened her. does that count? also i held it in contempt (that is a play on words).
Ran a red light?
this question does not make sense to me. is this english?
Been suspended from school?
no but i have been suspended from alices bedroom window by elastic. alice said i was bungee jumping and that it would be fun. she laughed but i felt funny and my head got a bit squashed (the elastic was too long).
Totaled your car in an accident?
what is with this pretend english?
Pole danced?
it is too slippery for furry paws and more hard when you dont have thumbs.
Been fired from a job?
this question is redundant (that is a grown up word for not needed).
Sang karaoke?
my favourite songs are teddy bears picnic (alice sang that to me sometimes a long time ago) and the ace of spades.
Done something/one you told yourself you wouldn't?
once i fell asleep and left alice alone without protection. i will never do that again ever ever ever.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
no because i am a stuffed bear and i do not laugh and i do not drink although if i did i would go hahaha and drink pimms and lemonade or maybe just lemonade.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
once a pigeon did a poo on my head. does that count?
Kissed in the rain?
when alice was very small she kissed me in the garden when it was raining. we didnt get wet because we were in a fort that was made from a sheet. i dont think we would have been safe from an army of indians like alice thought but i would have bitten them all anyway to save her.
Sang in the shower?
yes. i was wearing a massive sowester so i did not get wet. i sang the ace of spades.
Gave your private parts a nickname?
i have a private collection of parts but they do not have a name.
Ever gone to school/work without underwear?
none of the above apply to me except when i wore a nappy once. it was a disguise.
Sat on a roof top?
more times than i care to remember.
Played chicken?
i once played with some chicken and made a hat out of two chicken breasts. alice threw it away because she said it smelled bad. but i was cunning and rescued it from the bin. it is now safely stored behind the fridge because the fridge keeps things fresh.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
i fell in puddle once.
Broken a bone?
yes.
Mooned/flashed someone?
no. that is silly.
Shaved your head?
someone tried to do that to me once. see the question about bones (above).
Slept naked?
i am hairy.
Played a prank on someone?
yes yes yes! lots. i love playing tricks.
Had a gym membership?
i cant reach the weights.
Felt like killing someone?
that is an interesting question. i will think about it. i have thought about it now.
Cried over someone you were in love with?
there is no use crying over spilled people.
Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
no.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
i had a pet baked bean once. i buried it because it died.
Been in a band?
no but my bean was. the band was called bean in a band.
Subscribed to Maxim?
there are pictures of rude ladies in it so no.
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol?
no but one times somebody spilled beer on my head and got me soggy and i went wobbly and felt nasty the next day.
Shot a bow and arrow?
that is on my list of things to do.
Played strip poker?
i stripped some wallpaper once. it was a boring game.
Tripped on mushrooms?
every time i go to the woods with alice i trip over some mushrooms. the problem is that they are earth coloured and i dont see them because i have a button for an eye.
Donated Blood?
in a manner of speaking.
Eaten alligator meat?
i do not eat.
Ever jump out of an airplane?
not a real one silly. this is a silly survey.
Have you been to more than 10 countries?
yes. that is easy. i use google earth. once i went to mount everest but it was too white.
there that is the end. i hope that lets you understand me more. also i hope it shows how silly myspace is because honestly who cares about sex and jumping beans and hats made from chicken?
bye. ted.
Category: Surveys
on myspace people send silly surveys around and put their own answers on them. i think they do this so that hundreds of other people will see what they think and what they do and then they will like them more. sometimes i think people are sad about things they want to do or have done and maybe they want people to say there there it is ok you are not a freak.
here is an example of a survey that somebody sent me on myspace. i have put my answers on it so you can see if i am a freak (of course i am a freak. just look at me.)
Made out with someone on your top 8?
i dont know what made out means but i did once make a paper mache moose with alice. she is not in my top eight though because she is not on myspace and anyway i am not allowed to use the internet so i could not invite her even though she is my best friend in the whole world ever.
Danced in front of your mirror naked?
i think that i am not naked because i am covered in brown fur (that is fade proof and flame retardant).
Told a lie?
no (that is a lie hahaha).
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
i love alice very much and she loves me very much and that is all i know about feelings. sometimes alice gets confused but i think that is hormones. i know a joke about hormones but it is rude and about prostitutes so i can not say it here.
Been arrested?
it has been a close call on lots of occassions but luckily policemen ignore me most of the time.
Made out with someone of the same sex?
sex is rude and scary. i would rather watch dvds. i am a boy bear but i dont have rude bits anyway (that means a penis).
Seen someone die?
no. never. maybe. no.
Slept in until 5pm?
what does slept in mean? bed is best and smells nice unless alice needs a poo and then it is smelly because she makes smells.
Had sex at work?
what is work?
Fallen asleep at work/school?
i do not sleep. check out my eyes. you can tell.
Held a snake?
alice had a rubber snake once. i held it over a naked flame because it threatened her. does that count? also i held it in contempt (that is a play on words).
Ran a red light?
this question does not make sense to me. is this english?
Been suspended from school?
no but i have been suspended from alices bedroom window by elastic. alice said i was bungee jumping and that it would be fun. she laughed but i felt funny and my head got a bit squashed (the elastic was too long).
Totaled your car in an accident?
what is with this pretend english?
Pole danced?
it is too slippery for furry paws and more hard when you dont have thumbs.
Been fired from a job?
this question is redundant (that is a grown up word for not needed).
Sang karaoke?
my favourite songs are teddy bears picnic (alice sang that to me sometimes a long time ago) and the ace of spades.
Done something/one you told yourself you wouldn't?
once i fell asleep and left alice alone without protection. i will never do that again ever ever ever.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
no because i am a stuffed bear and i do not laugh and i do not drink although if i did i would go hahaha and drink pimms and lemonade or maybe just lemonade.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
once a pigeon did a poo on my head. does that count?
Kissed in the rain?
when alice was very small she kissed me in the garden when it was raining. we didnt get wet because we were in a fort that was made from a sheet. i dont think we would have been safe from an army of indians like alice thought but i would have bitten them all anyway to save her.
Sang in the shower?
yes. i was wearing a massive sowester so i did not get wet. i sang the ace of spades.
Gave your private parts a nickname?
i have a private collection of parts but they do not have a name.
Ever gone to school/work without underwear?
none of the above apply to me except when i wore a nappy once. it was a disguise.
Sat on a roof top?
more times than i care to remember.
Played chicken?
i once played with some chicken and made a hat out of two chicken breasts. alice threw it away because she said it smelled bad. but i was cunning and rescued it from the bin. it is now safely stored behind the fridge because the fridge keeps things fresh.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
i fell in puddle once.
Broken a bone?
yes.
Mooned/flashed someone?
no. that is silly.
Shaved your head?
someone tried to do that to me once. see the question about bones (above).
Slept naked?
i am hairy.
Played a prank on someone?
yes yes yes! lots. i love playing tricks.
Had a gym membership?
i cant reach the weights.
Felt like killing someone?
that is an interesting question. i will think about it. i have thought about it now.
Cried over someone you were in love with?
there is no use crying over spilled people.
Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
no.
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
i had a pet baked bean once. i buried it because it died.
Been in a band?
no but my bean was. the band was called bean in a band.
Subscribed to Maxim?
there are pictures of rude ladies in it so no.
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol?
no but one times somebody spilled beer on my head and got me soggy and i went wobbly and felt nasty the next day.
Shot a bow and arrow?
that is on my list of things to do.
Played strip poker?
i stripped some wallpaper once. it was a boring game.
Tripped on mushrooms?
every time i go to the woods with alice i trip over some mushrooms. the problem is that they are earth coloured and i dont see them because i have a button for an eye.
Donated Blood?
in a manner of speaking.
Eaten alligator meat?
i do not eat.
Ever jump out of an airplane?
not a real one silly. this is a silly survey.
Have you been to more than 10 countries?
yes. that is easy. i use google earth. once i went to mount everest but it was too white.
there that is the end. i hope that lets you understand me more. also i hope it shows how silly myspace is because honestly who cares about sex and jumping beans and hats made from chicken?
bye. ted.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
DrunkWounds.com
DrunkWounds.com is a site that i have found and it looks like it might be funny because sometimes people get drunk and fall over and hurt themselves and that is funny. i hope alice doesnt hurt herself when she gets drunk. i will pour out her gin just in case.
