Friday, March 31, 2006

 

pretty girls with poor temperature control

Current mood: suspicious
Category: Religion and Philosophy

a pretty lady called brittany sent me an email asking if she was hot. this is my reply to her:


hello. my name is mental ted. you sent me a message asking if you are hot. i cannot know. when my owner alice is too hot she takes off her woolly jumper. sometimes she is too cold and turns on the fire. i cant really tell about temperatures because I am a teddy bear though. i have to go now. someone is coming.

brittany looks very pretty and some of her photos have lots of other pretty people in them. i dont know if brittany is nice though because i can not see her heart. also she might be a fat man in a scratchy dressing gown in real life for all i can know.

 

no music for bear

Current mood: angry
Category: Music

sometimes i can not hear myspace music. this makes me a bit sad and a bit angry. some girls called The Schla La Las want to be my friend but i cant hear their music. its probably something to do with alices firewall. my guess would be something to do with port forwarding but i am only a bear and my head is made of stuffing so what do i know?


The Schla La Las are probably ok to be friends with though because they are girls and they like tits of death (i am their bodyguard you know).

Thursday, March 30, 2006

 

if ill be your bodyguard you wont get to talk to boys

Current mood: protective
Category: Parties and Nightlife

the tits of death have asked me to be their bodyguard. i like them and i will look after them and stop boys talking to them at gigs. and stop boys walking into their dressing room when they are just in their pants like what happened at their last gig.


i have lost some of my stuffing. if you see it please let me know. my bottom is a bit saggy at the moment.

alice says she has a boy coming to stay tomorrow. that usually means the wardrobe for me. i hope she will be ok.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

 

relationships

Current mood: confused
Category: Romance and Relationships

someone i dont know has written me an email saying she likes me. i dont understand what she means about relationships or recovery. she seems nice and so thank you. her message is below...


Oh, I love Mental Ted. he is so sweet! I would gladly swap any hope of maintaining an adult relationship if I thought I could give Mental Ted a home and perhaps help him on the road to recovery...!

not everyone knows but i am not allowed to use the internet. i have to be sneaky. a nice lady called samantha marais (alice likes her music) wrote to me. she had some good advice. she said...

Maybe you could get a bear sized yoga mat and put it next to the keyboard. That way you can play away on the computer and if you hear someone coming you can dive onto your mat and say you're busy doing yoga?

that is a brilliant idea. i will get one of those mats and learn yoga. with a head this massive i think some of the positions will be a challenge. the extra flexibility would be handy when I want to squeeze into small spaces. or out of them (like that time alice put me in the laundry basket and weighed down the lid).


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

 

friends on the internet

Current mood: loyal
Category: friends

this myspace* thing is freaking me out. why does everyone want to be my friend? have you seen the state of me? i think alice would like me to get new friends but i need to spend most of my time looking after her. she is so selfless and is always thinking about me. sometime she wants to send me on holiday. i love her.

* i started my blog on myspace but blogger is better so i moved here. also some people on myspace were scary.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

 

bee stings and tits of death

Current mood: mental
Category: Music

i went to see bee stings and tits of death at the water rats in london. it was good. i liked the tits of death and they were girls. if someone was mean to them i would help protect them. also val from bee stings is kind and i like her. i dont know about the boys though. i am suspicious of attila because he is new. also will smells a bit and ben is tall. their music is good though and made me vibrate (i was standing on a pa cabinet).

sorry about my poor punctuation and lack of capital letters. using shift is hard when you are my size and dont have any fingers.

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