Thursday, September 28, 2006
bitches!
Category: Love and Romance
today i got an email from my friend hinges. hinges is a dog and in may he fell in love with a girl dog (she is a bitch) called pie. but today he has told me that she has dumped him by text whatever that means. he is sad and so i sent him some advice that i think is good. it is private advice so i have posted it on the blog that hinges writes (i wanted to say hinges' blog but i try to avoid punctuation wherever possible). i have also written the same thing here so you wont have to invade the privacy of hinges by visiting his secret blog at myspace.
hello hinges. i got your message today and it said that pie had dumped you and that she is a bitch (literally) and you asked if i have ever had a girlfriend. i have not because there is only room in the space where my heart should be for alice. and a little bit of stuffing. but that will not stop me giving advice.
dont feel sad my doggy friend. remember that love is just a chemical madness induced by a number of factors. these factors include shallow physical attributes that indicate fecundity and health. the effects of this hormonal soup cause irrational thought and actions but eventually it wears off and if you have not built a deeper bond with your partner you will split up. also i would like to point out that they are all whores.
i hope that consoles you in this upsetting time. im off to check out a pile of leaves at the bottom of the garden. if you want to pop over and play you are welcome. just please dont wee on me this time.
bye. ted.
