Mental Ted

Dear Ted,

First of all let me tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. We really crack up at some of your stories here are work. You seem to have a good insight into life, even if you are supposedly a teddy bear - and a mental one at that! With that in mind I would like to share a problem I have and hope you can help.

I have been seeing a girl called Claire recently, but after a few weeks she seems to be giving me the cold shoulder. I've sent her a few emails but I get short replies and this weekend she doesn't want to visit me (something about a sick relative - as if!)

What should I do? You gave Hinges some good advice the other day. Can you help me? Please, Ted, Help!

Best wishes,

Graham.

hello graham. ted here.

i was very interested to read your letter and it is clear that you are able to use better punctuation and capital letters than i can. but being able to press shift is not all there is to life. playing games and hiding easter eggs is about as good as it gets if you want my opinion.

i think that claire is very sensible not to want to see you. you sound like a git. take the hint and bother someone else (but not alice or i will get you). i know that this does not sound very encouraging but i am new at this agony aunt business. do not be too hard on yourself. try not to be a git next time a lady takes pity on you and kisses you. maybe your willy is too small? i cannot know. now stop bugging me with your stupid problems and get back to work.

bye. ted.

i think that this was a very successful first attempt at being an agony aunt. maybe i will get better but maybe not. it doesnt matter to me whichever way it goes because anyone who wants advice from me is silly. if you are silly and want advice please email me at ted@mentalted.com. that is called marketing. here is some more. do it today.

bye. ted.

# posted by Ted @ 9:54 am